There is a certain level of anxiety surrounding the topic of future plans. I often times feel pressured by societal norms to make a commitment to the next chapter of my life and I sometimes wonder why I don’t have it all figured out. It does feel like since almost the start of my YAV experience people have been asking me what’s next? The answer from me has always been I don’t know and there is always the same dreaded look from the person engaging me in conversation, the look of a little confusion, concern, and uncertainty of what to say next. Especially now that I am at the halfway point of my YAV year, the looming questions about where I will be and what I will be doing after July have been on the forefront of more conversations on a more frequent basis.
Ideally, I would be able to make a commitment to my future right now and have answers, but that’s not my reality. I really like Albuquerque and I am considering staying here after my YAV year, but I am also considering returning to Minneapolis or finding a job opportunity somewhere completely new. I have been struggling with the idea of not knowing but I have also been enjoying the possibility of considering different new adventures. I honestly don’t know what I want to do and I have the privilege of that being just fine. Some days the uncertainty of not knowing is overwhelming and I have to push myself to focus on being present and enjoying my surroundings and point in life.
When I push myself to enjoy where I am and embrace the uncertainty I am able to relax, have fun and know everything will be fine. At this point, I have no big announcements but I will affirm, I have been finding more and more good reasons to stay in Albuquerque. I have invested myself in cultivating possibly long term relationships with people at work placement. I am enjoying exploring Albuquerque and the surrounding areas. Right now I have great friends, I like my job, and I am happy here. Only time will tell what my future holds so stay tuned.