It seems to me, there is no greater pain than to be helpless in the face of a loved one’s suffering. One of my weaknesses is that I care a lot. I have found myself in many a situation where I care too much. During my YAV year, I have learned a lot about myself and how I handle situations and I have grown. I have learned to extend the same compassion and kindness I show others to myself. I don’t need too and can’t fix and handle difficult situations in the lives of others and that is fine. I can and will to a certain extent simply be there, care, and make others feel supported while knowing my own limits and setting boundaries. This is not a personal journey I have been on alone and I am ever more grateful for my support systems. I have valued learning and practicing to walk humbly and love genuinely and I appreciate the people and situations causing me to recognize that.
Last weekend I went home to surprise my Grammy for her birthday. My Grammy has been battling ovarian cancer for years which makes every holiday and birthday celebration more special. I value my family time and not missing out on worthwhile experiences so I made a decision that home was where I wanted to be for her birthday. Humbly knowing while the surprise would be exciting it would not make the cancer go away but enthusiastically showing up to simply be there and to love genuinely.
Challenging myself to courageously and enthusiastically walk humbly and love genuinely has not been simple but it has been rewarding and given me a chance to reflect and evaluate what I value. I am grateful for the people who have pushed, challenged, supported, and just been along for my ABQ YAV journey. If you are so inclined, some additional prayers and good vibes would be appreciated for my Grammy as she continues her cancer fight and for me as I am entering into my final stretch as an ABQ YAV.